Birthday Craziness: Part III

       Once a year, Jewish people throughout the world participate in a practice called Bedikat Chamatz.  This is where all traces of leaven are removed from the house in order that the home may be perfectly "clean" during the celebration of Passover.  They discard all yeast and products that might have yeast in them.  They scrub down stoves, ovens, appliances, cupboards...anything that a leavened item might have touched or even left traces of.

       You may be wondering what on earth this has to do with Emery's birthday.  I will tell you:).  One of the most unique things I ever discovered about Seth was that, unbeknownst to him, he practiced his own form of Bedikat Chamatz once every year in November.  But instead of removing leaven from his home/car/office, he removed the color red.  Now, I love BYU just as much as the next [properly] indoctrinated co-ed.  But you see, Seth has a rather... impassioned loyalty to the Y.  The week before the Cougars played the Utes was pretty much the most important, perhaps sacred week of the year to him.   So out went the color red.  And pink, and coral, and maroon, and rose - basically anything that resembled red.  This is how much he loves his Cougs.

       So when it came time to celebrate the first birthday of the son of Seth Barrus, it was kind of easy to pick a theme:). 

       Here are the highlights... 

Enamored daddy.  These two are developing an undeniable bond:).

 Emery knew something was up when guests showed up and he started getting so much attention.  And he reveled in it!  He was absolutely delightful:) (And thank you, Aunt Bethany, for the balloon!)

Gift opening was a little confusing:).  He didn't quite grasp why each toy kept getting moved to the side for another.  He just wanted to play!

 Time for cake!  

In our family we avoid giving anything with table sugar to our babies...until they turn one, and then it's a sugar liberating extravaganza!! (At least for one night.)

He wasn't sure what to do with this new found freedom...

And then it became serious business.

And this may be the real reason I don't let my babies eat sugar before age one.  So I can get pictures like this one on their birthday:)

       Emery has got to be the most loved baby ever to be born.  One of my favorite things about this birthday celebration was watching his older brothers laugh and cheer all night over the tiniest things he would do while opening presents and eating cake.  I feel sad that I don't have any pictures of them with him!  I don't know what I was thinking.  Those boys adore him.  They are so good to him and he is so lucky to have them.  

       Emery has been an absolutely perfect baby.  The joy he brings to our lives is indescribable.  One night when he was about 8 months old, I discovered that he had a little fascination with my eye lashes.  As I was singing to him in my arms, he started touching them and trying to pull at them.  So I let him feel what they were like by fluttering them against his cheek .  He giggled and leaned his face in to mine for me to do it again.  From then on it became a little ritual of ours when I lay him down for bed.  It soothes him and makes him smile, and it gives me the most incredible feeling of love.  He is the most loving, sweetest boy in the world.   We are so blessed to be his parents.

Birthday Craziness: Part II

       Ashton has a wonderful and distinct personality that can be quite well characterized by the way he initially chose to make his entrance into my world.  I woke up one Sunday morning, a month before my due date, feeling ever so slightly...odd.  Nothing out of the ordinary, I thought, for a woman who was eight months pregnant.  So I got myself and my little one ready for church and headed out the door at the appropriate time so as not to be late.  I was the ward organist and had to be a little early.  I don't recall if I made it early or not, but I do remember that the odd feeling I had been experiencing had suddenly begun to intensify the moment I settled in to the organ bench.  I began playing the prelude music and for the first time that morning noticed that the weirdness I was feeling had become quite painful in fact, and was coming in waves.  Now my first baby had to be induced on my due date...cause he was ginormous. So I had never actually experienced going in to labor naturally.  I had no idea what to pay attention to.  And since this baby wasn't due for another month, I assumed I was having those Braxton Hicks contractions I had heard of.  Mmm...Nope! A few cacophonous chords, to the delight of the congregation, and four hours later I had an 8 lb 3 oz baby boy in my arms.  I was not ready.  But he certainly was!  So came he did, and I just had to immediately adjust.  It certainly helped that he was the sweetest, roundest, most lovable little man-baby ever (seriously, he could have been born with a bow tie and loafers on and it would not have seemed at all out of place). 

       My wonderful Ashton has kept me on the edge of my seat ever since.  He is, by far, my most active child.  Active, as in: "alive, astir, bustling, hasty, impelling, in force, in play, mobile, moving, operating, pushing, rapid, restless, running, rushing, shifting, simmering, speeding, swarming,"...you get the idea:).  So multiply this by 6 and you have somewhat of an idea of how his friends party went.  C.R.A.Z.Y.!!!  But he was absolutely delighted to have his friends over to celebrate with him, which made it all worth it for me.   

Honestly, I was just so grateful that kids showed up!  Maybe it's just my chronic proclivity towards worrying, but I was feeling so nervous before the party was to start that kids wouldn't come! With every door bell sound I felt more and more relief:).  Open play as all guests arrived...

 My attempt at making it look like a party...

Should have used a runner of some kind.  Oh well!

One of his friends is named Seth...Such a cute name, and he happened to be our favorite guest:)

 We decided on classic yard games for the activities.  Here we have water balloon toss.  I'm not sure they loved it.

Singing and cupcake time.

Gift opening.  Always so awkward.   Can we do away with this tradition please?

       I was glad we did this party for Ashton, and not just because it made him happy.  It was actually quite illuminating.  We discovered that some of the behavior we often attribute to Ashton's very real challenge of having ADHD, is shared by many nine year old children.  That was an exhausting two hours!

       We also celebrated Ashton's birthday on his actual birth date, with just family.  Quiet dinner of his choice, gift opening and cake.  I like calm:).  

I love this picture of Ashton.  I love how his feet barely touch the ground in this adult sized chair.  It reminds me of how much he is learning and growing as a now 9 year old, always striving to be viewed as "big enough" to do more things and have more responsibilities.  

His favorite book series right now...

His request for cake this year: Chocolate strawberries and cream.  It was SO delicious:).  Don't mind the sloppy writing.  I'm working on it!

       Ashton is going to be a force to be reckoned with when he grows up.   He has challenges that most kids his age don't have to deal with, and he is developing an indomitable spirit because of them. He is loyal, loving, funny, deep thinking, and bright.  I regularly marvel at the amazing soul this child has and feel ever grateful to be his mommy.

Birthday craziness!!

Birthday parties.  The observable evaluator of a mother's affection for a child and rightful place in the "good mommy" classification.  At least this had always sort of been my impression of them as I had stalked read the many blogs, noticed the plethora of pins, and overheard friends talking about them.  And I wasn't one of those mommies.  In my previous life, when my two oldest  boys were tiny, I actually was pretty good about birthday parties, theme and color scheme included.  But, after life took a few unexpected turns, it just wasn't something I was capable of doing; I simply didn't have the time, energy, or budget for them.  Instead, we had simple celebrations at home: child's favorite dinner, personalized cake, and presents, with grandparents and favorite uncles/aunts for guests. But, with gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father and an amazing man named Seth, my life circumstances have dramatically improved in recent years.  And I realized this year that I no longer had many excuses to continue to exclude birthday parties from our family life.  So I decided to try my hand at them once again.  My. Goodness.  What a difference a decade will make!

          It just so happens that three out of four of our boys have birthdays within about a two week span of each other.  Thankfully, I got a bit of a rest after Joseph's birthday party in February before the real madness began.  Seven kinetic 6-year-old boys in a basement during the middle of winter?  No problem! His party was cute and mild compared to what was ahead...

          For this post, we will highlight Talmage's festivities (Ashton's and Emery's celebrations will follow)...

One thing I learned from this experience is that when a bunch of 6th grade kids get together, the snack food that I thought would be inhaled before the pizza arrived ended up being completely unnecessary.  Except for the grapes!  The girls finished those off nicely:).  

Open play as guests arrived.  You should have heard the pre-pubescent boy-squeals ring through the house when they saw the girls coming to the door!

Pizza.  Easy.

We only had one red soda spill all evening! (Don't ask me what I was thinking with colored pop.)

Talmage decided on Minute-to-Win-it games for the entertainment.  And it was entertaining:)

Savaaaanahhh... 

Awkward boy trying to shake ping-pong balls out of tissue box strapped to his back.

And Talmage's giant cupcake.

That's all he ate!  I'm telling you.  The one thing that will distract 12 year old boys from food is girls.  

          So the party was supposed to end at like 8:30.  These pictures don't quite give you the full appreciation of the noise and chaos level that reigned the night.  Pretty much by about 8:15 Seth was ready to set a smoke bomb off and clear the house.  It was a little rowdy.  But the kids had so much fun, it was hard for me not to be delighted inside that we had made Talmage very happy.  In all sincerity, this party was earned.  


          Let me tell you a little about Talmage right now.

          This boy has been enrolled in five elementary schools since Kindergarten.  Five.  This school year, his second  here in Pleasant Grove, he finally felt like he belonged somewhere.  He has made good friends, a best friend even (his name is Tim and he's the type of best friend he could potentially have for the rest of his life).  Talmage has made tremendous strides in maturity and spiritual strength in the last year.  On New Year's day, he and I were talking about resolutions and he shared with me what some of his were: to read the Book of Mormon every day (which he has done almost without exception) and finish it, to begin reading "Jesus the Christ" and make significant headway with it (he knows that one will be difficult), and to earn a lot of money for his mission and college.   We have watched Talmage make improvements in the way he treats his brothers and has tried especially hard to be more patient with Ashton.  He has put hours and hours of effort into developing his basketball skills and has kept up with his piano instruction even though he really doesn't like it.  He continues to excel in school and is now putting 100% into fulfilling his priesthood duties as a deacon.  He has even asked his dad on his own volition if he can come to our ward every week so he can be a reliable member of and full participant in his quorum.  His most recent impressive demonstration of his growing maturity was taking the initiative to obtain his limited use temple recommend, even making an appointment with the bishop on his own right after he received the priesthood .  Seth had the privilege of taking him to the Timpanogos temple and performing the baptism ordinances for him for the first time.  (I will be taking him next:)).

          So really, inviting a houseful of rambunctious pre-teens over for a Friday night of frenzy...was a pleasure:).

We love our Talmage and are so pleased with the young man he is becoming!

Oh, fudge.

Every now and then, I do something really stupid.  The kind of stupid that might make one wonder if there needs to be an intervention in the near future.  Most of the time, I'm okay with these periodic lapses in cognitive aptitude because they remind me how utterly and completely dependent I truly am upon the grace and forgiveness of a loving God for my earthly survival.  These types of mistakes usually aren't that big of a deal and don't require much repair.  They're just not smart.  However, sometimes they give me serious pause and beg some kind of explanation that simply cannot be met with the token hearkening to being "human".  Like today, for example. It is the first day off of school for the boys' Spring Break.  I woke up in a happy, energetic mood, ready to take on the role of mother-of-the-pack.  I thought maybe I'd take the boys hiking, or to a fun park we haven't yet discovered, or to BYU campus to walk around and grab an ice cream.  Visions of glad and grateful children played through my mind as I fed the baby, did a cross-fit workout with Talmage, and got dressed and ready for the day.

And then I saw them.  Dark, thick, and foreboding.  Clouds began to flood the sky and darken our house. The mean looking kind that never seem to go away for days.  The pleasant breeze I had noticed outside my window when I woke up decided to turn into high speed winds and by 10:30 it was evident we would not be hiking, or picnicking at a park, or enjoying a lovely day at BYU.  Now, I've done Spring Break indoors with three boys by myself and it's not awesome.  It is doable, but it depends entirely on the mood the boys are in.  If they are cheerful and cooperative with each other, it can be just fine.  But if even one of them decides to throw in the towel and just be a bum, the day is completely awful.  All three of my guys had already shown signs of grumpiness and I was not prepared for awful. I had my heart set on a happy day, and I was not willing to let these sour clouds get in the way.  What could we do today that wouldn't cost much money? After getting some feedback from my oldest, I cheerfully gathered the boys together and announced that we would be going to Cabela's.  We would go climb on the rock wall there, look at all the cool things, and buy some fudge for a treat!  Sounded great to me; sounded great to them.  So off we went.

Now, I had never been to Cabela's.  But Cabela's, I had heard, was the greatest place on earth for everything man.  Couldn't go wrong with a place like that with four boys, right?  Mm mmm.  Not right.  SO wrong.  Talk about boring!  There was no rock wall ( I must have been thinking of Scheels), no sports stuff (why didn't that ever register with me?)...it was just a huge camping/hunting store with an enormous collection of neatly labeled dead mountain animals, which took us approximately 7 minutes to view.  Oh, there was a little token operating "shooting range" of sorts.  That was interesting for about 5 minutes (the score keeping mechanism was broken, on all of them).  This was not what I had envisioned for the indoor awesomeness that I was to provide today.  There had to be something redemptive about this trip.  Oh! The fudge!  That was it.  Talmage had told me how he had gotten the fudge here one time with Grandpa and that he loved it, so we would get some fudge for everyone and that would turn this drive out to a fake wilderness into a success.  We entered the "General Store" and greeted the apron donning employee with multiple requests for samples (to their credit, I will say my boys were very polite when asking and were hesitant to ask for seconds tastes).  The fudge did look delicious, and there was an impressive variety.  The boys were loving their samples and quickly started shouting out their favorites.  Maybe I would even try some! But my enchantment soon faded when I glanced at the price plaque on the far right of the counter.  Could this be right?? $3.50 for one piece of fudge?  Oh...no! Do I make them share? Was I prepared to deal with contentious negotiating right there in front of the clerk and the other suckers customers lining up behind me? Not today--I just wasn't.  So three pieces of fudge it would be.  Raspberry cream, orange cream, and mint chocolate.  $10.50.  Gulp.  But it wasn't over.  No, just as the clerk was lowering the third 2x2 square into the box, she enthusiastically announced their special of the day...If you get 4 pieces of fudge, you get 2 more... for... free.  The sound of "free" seemed to make the moment less painful somehow.  Yes!  I'll do it.  Phew.  I quickly chose three more: cookies and cream, dark chocolate, and moose drool (yes, moose drool. Its amazing.).  She handed me the neatly packaged box and said thank you, politely declining to take my credit card as there actually are no cash registers in the "General Store".  I took the box and looked down at the price sticker on top. $14.00.  FOURTEEN dollars!  Oh. Fudge.  Our walk down to the real registers and out of the building was a blur.  A few minutes later I was closing the back door of the van, looking at my boys inside the car, and holding the most expensive box of treats I've ever purchased.  What just happened??  Did I really just spend $15 at Cabela's...on fudge (that's $14, plus tax, plus a 50 cent donation to some environmental cause I feel no passion for)?  Inside the car I sliced up and distributed morsels of each fudge selection as I felt the sickness of the purchase sink down deep inside me.  It is the day after Easter.  The boys have a gallon size ziplock back at home filled with Easter candy.  There were dozens of useful things in there I could have spent that money on that would have made sense to purchase.  But instead, I was handing out chocolate confections with coma inducing amounts of sugar to a car full of little men who will forget about this moment of indulgence in approximately 15 minutes.

This was an epic stupid something.

But why?  Why did this happen?  I think my explanation to Seth when he came home was that I clearly was not thinking in that critical moment of decision.  But as I've been pondering over this...incident, I must admit that's actually not true.  I was thinking.  A lot.  I was thinking about a thousand different things: "How can I make this little moment memorable? The boys are with me right now on their spring break.  Talmage's best friend is in California.  They flew there, on an airplane. Ashton has been having trouble today.  What am I neglecting with him?  Has he felt enough love from me today?  I need to make sure he gets his own pick of a flavor and doesn't have to share.  But then that means Joseph and Talmage would have to share.  Talmage will feel like he's not being treated like the almost 12-year-old he is, having to share with his little brother.  He has been testing his limits of independence a lot lately.  How can I show him I respect his growing need for autonomy while preserving appropriate limits?  Should I let him pay for his own fudge? But how would this moment be special, if he is having to pay?  Oh, Joseph forgot to wear his glasses again today.  He probably can't read the descriptions on the fudge.  Does he really want raspberry cream? Should I ask her for yet another sample?  Oh boy.  There are more people behind us.  Where's the stroller?  Ashton's pushing it.  That's not good."

As I am becoming more and more aware of my flaws as a mother, I am also becoming more cognizant of ways in which I am improving and growing.  And I am realizing that these little moments of failure aren't necessarily signs that I am failing.  Because every time I do something stupid like this, I learn a little more about myself.  Sometimes those are things I can feel good about; sometimes they are things I know I need to eliminate or adjust.  Today I learned that I care a little bit more about the creation of a moment than I do about money.  And while I may always cringe at the memory of having spent 1,500 pennies on fudge, and hopefully never repeat this mistake in the future, perhaps it is a good thing that my thoughts were thus engaged.

I am a mom.  With everything that passes through our brains in a given instant, sometimes we buy $14 fudge.  And I think that's okay:).

Basketball, Cupid, and a Brand New 6-Year-Old

          I love February.  I love that my boys don't mind Valentine's day and that I get to finally bring some pink into the house without complaint!  I love that we are in the throes of basketball calendar chaos and I get to watch my boys display their developing coordination and physical prowess several times a week.  I love that its the kick off of birthday season.  And I love that I get to bake without guilt...because there must be treats in February, right?
         
          So first, basketball...(please forgive my poor action shot photography.  Still getting used to our camera.)

Talmage making one of his three-point shots in his tournament game.  He was 5 for 7 at the three point line!

MVP: Talmage!!With about 2 minutes left in the game, the coach let him rest for the first time in the game.  He was the high scorer with over 20 points!  In this picture he was receiving a robust applause from the crowd:)

Ashton is the best defender I think I've ever seen in Jr. Jazz.  Up until 6th grade, the boys are given wristbands that assign them to the person they will guard on the other team.  No one wanted Ashton to guard them, he was so good!  

He was also awesome at eyeing the court and passing to open players.  Just wish more or the kids got a hold of that concept;)

On a whim, Talmage decided to enter a shooting competition.  Each player got 60 seconds to make as many shots as they could, accumulating extra points for making baskets from predesignated spots on the court.  After two rounds, the top two scorers moved on to a regional tournament on March 9th.  With a close 2nd place finish, guess who gets to go!!

           So, on to Valentine's day...

First, a little something I made for Seth's card...(cue the chorus of "Awww"s)

Sweet Emery was so cooperative for this little shoot...I got about 5 minutes worth of fuss-free photos:)

    And then the boys Valentines...

This year, I decided to simplify and just gave them one of their favorite treats with their Valentines...cake balls! 

And their favorite muffins for breakfast...Chocolate chip with strawberry glaze.  

     Each of the boys were full participants in their class Valentines preparations.  Usually it is just me putting together the token spider man/sports/car themed store-bought 4"x3" cards with lollipop inserts.  But this year included an unprecedented interest in the entire affair, as each of the boys currently have well developed crushes on specific girls in their classes.  So for several days prior to the big day, I found them hauling out my paper supplies and attempting to make their own special creations for their girls, each with very forward messages.  Ashton's was my favorite: "Dear Kelsie, You are so nice.  You are pretty.  I like you.  Love, Ashton"  Wow! Now that's bravery! (Side bar: Talmage's crush has since fizzled out.  It seems we were right when we advised him not to buy into the whole, "I like you" declaration thing that apparently is this 6th grade generation's way of "going out".  He told us that the next day at school was "super awkward" and both of them wanted to go back to being "just friends".)

I was lucky enough to help out during this little event gem: Talmage's class dance party...

The awkwardness was as palpable as the B.O. wafting through the air...But no worries, Talmage was as cool as a BYU football player at a Middle School Assembly.  Or at least we'll let him think that;)

And finally, our sweet Joseph turns 6!  I decided this year to break out my inner super mom and throw a "for real" birthday party.  With a theme even!  And cupcakes! (I know, it is sad that this was so new to me.)

Yes, that is indeed 6 pair of extra little boy shoes:).

When each boy arrived he was given a personalized pair of eye blacks (or black eye patch thingies, if you're sports inept like me) to wear.  Brilliant, huh?  Wish I could claim it.  It was Seth's idea.  The boys thought it was pretty cool.  And Joseph had such a fun time! He won all the contests we had, so all the prizes went to 2nd place finishers.  (Yes, I had just one prize per game.  Insensitive?  I took a chance.  They did all get treat bag at the end...does that make it okay?)  Joseph was such a good little host, very polite and a great friend to all his guests.  I felt so happy to see him so excited.  It made the headache after worth it;).

          As fun as it was to host a lively pack of 6-year-olds, I always love the more subdued family celebrations that have become a cherished tradition in our home...This year Joseph chose BBQ chicken pizza and oranges for dinner and an Oreo cake for dessert.

Oh!  I almost forgot something else that happened in February.  This won't require much commentary.  Words aren't really that necessary...Enjoy:

Talmage in make-up.  You're welcome.