Sometimes I make cute stuff

I love to craft.  I love to design and decorate and add pretty to things.  Sadly, I don't have an abundance of time to do so.  But every now and then I do try to carve out bits of time for such activities because it helps to keep my life in the emotionally/mentally/spiritually sane category.  And YES, I include spirituality here because I believe that one of the ways we connect with God is through using our minds and bodies, our gifts and talents, to create things.  Also, I love to use that hands on time to listen to General Conference talks or the Scriptures.  See?  Very spiritual;).  

Unfortunately, in addition to the scarcity of time to thus indulge I have another rather significant problem. 

I was not exactly blessed with the most creative mind in the universe. Or even my corner of the world...or neighborhood.  Okay, not even in my own house.  I essentially do not have a lot of cuteness oozing from my brain.  

My excuse is that I do write music on occasion and that activity saps me of the majority of my right-brain-cell count.  And I'm okay with this.  Because there are others!  Others with ideas and cleverness and design sense.  These types of individuals used to work for Martha Stewart or HGTV, but now they have blogs!  I used to watch Martha Stewart religiously to learn how to properly care for and decorate my home, but now I don't have to sit through segments on wine pairing or homemade pet costumes until finally getting to the seven minute tutorial on how to create the perfect scrapbook page (SO glad I don't scrapbook anymore--that skill was just not coming).  And because of the brilliant emergence of Pinterest onto the home making scene, those of us who lack the natural proclivities toward producing adorable things but who still want our homes to be inviting can now steal borrow inspiration from the talents of these prolific people.  Hurray!  Oh, how I love Pinterest!

However, that magical website is kind of like dark chocolate for me (or dried fruit, or marshmallows, or basically any kind of nut).  Because I know I love it so much, I must limit it's availability and use.  My partaking must consist of tiny little portions, every day.  You see, it must be every day.  Because just as withholding my dark chocolate for more than a day will result in overconsumption the following day, going a whole day without at least glancing through the Pinterest idea den will yield a similar outcome.  But in this case instead of ensuing guilt, a yucky tummy, and damage control exercising it would mean heavier guilt, whiny babies, and messy/sticky/cluttered spaces because mom has been otherwise occupied.  Not good.  So I must use prudence and wisdom as I raid other females' creativity coffers, filling my decorating and crafting needs.

With all this being said, I am pleased to report that I don't typically participate in 100% copy and paste design.  In fact, sometimes--and I mean very rarely, but still on the record--I come up with something entirely on my own! (I'm always amazed when that happens.)  But most of the time my home creations and styling consist of bits and pieces of inspiration to which I have added my own touches.  I can seldom, if ever, recollect the exact origination of an idea or project.  In strict terms I suppose this means I am, more or less, a homemaking plagiarist.  But at least I am contributing a portion of originality, as penurious as it may be.

Lately I've been moderately caught up in satiating my Fall decor cravings.  Since the weather hasn't quite matched my enthusiasm for the upcoming season, no matter how many mornings I force the long pants and cardigan wearing, I've had to compensate with crafting:). 

So here's a quick look at a few little creations I've recently added to our autumn abode...

First up, our new porch decor!  I've never been very motivated when it comes to decorating my porch, but this year I decided to give it a try.  I kind of love it:).

 And a new fall wreath. I love wreaths.  My husband would say maybe a little 

too much.

On to the Entry...

Nothing here is actually new, but somehow this cute little guy is still one of my favorites.

And the front room...

Dollar store pumpkins and gold metallic paint are a great combination.

My own sweet, little "hello Fall" print:).

New groupings around the hearth in the great room...

And finally, my favorite project as of late...these adorable stuffed pumpkins!

I used old clothing fabric, twine, and bark chips for these plump friends:).

So, what have you been creating lately?

"And the children of Israel brought a willing offering unto the Lord, every man and woman, whose heart made them willing to bring for all manner of work...

And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship...

And to devise curious works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass, 

And the cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of wood, to make any manner of cunning work...

Them hath he filled with wisdom of heart, to work all manner of work, of the engraver, and of the cunning workman, and of the embroiderer, in blue, and in purple, in scarlet, and in fine linen, and of the weaver, even of them that do any work, and of those that devise cunning work."

{Exodus 35:29-35}

A few days ago my oldest child had a dental exam after school.  Let me repeat that.  My oldest child had a dental exam after school.  

For anyone unfamiliar with the implications of that statement let me provide a pictorial representation of what afternoons are like at our house after school:

So when I am forced to schedule a pesky dental appointment during this time, it's slightly irritating.  

However, we do the best we can when it comes to appeasing teachers and the dentist, both of whom care very little about the frenetic tempo of my little life as a mom and whether or not my family gets a decent dinner on a Wednesday night.

One of the advantages of having a teenager (i.e. a constant reminder that I am not getting any younger and that the newly emerging lines in my skin will not be going away, no matter how effective that $32 cream purports to be) is that when he does not have other obligations (it is currently the off season for his sport...for a few more weeks at least) he can watch little brothers while I drive other kids to practices, lessons, etc., or run to the grocery store for forgotten items, or he can simply hold down the fort for two minutes so that I can use the bathroom without an audience.  It is quite nice, something I consider a luxury, a life saver at times, even.   On this particular occasion, as my built-in-babysitter was the one needing to be chauffeured, I brought my babies along, leaving my two middle children at home with a list of assignments to be completed during my 90 minute absence.  And it had to be exactly 90 minutes because one minute later than that would mean my footballer would be late for practice, resulting in a forfeiture of his chance to play starting tight end for his game on Saturday. 

The dental office is 25 minutes from our home.  This meant I was required to stick around.  Awesome.  But rather than sitting around in a sterile scented waiting room during my precious afternoon hours, I decided to use up those rare extra minutes a little more judiciously by going to the nearby Rock Canyon Park and letting Emery play while Spencer continued his nap.  It was a gorgeous day and I thought it would be lovely to sit and enjoy it for a while.  And maybe read something!  It was kind of a funny feeling there for a few minutes as I pulled up to the parking lot, having a full 40 minutes of "free time".  That sounds rather pathetic framed in that way, but life has been so completely busy lately and my days so tightly packed that even my snuggle reading and playing time with Emery must be scheduled in.  And since I don't anticipate a slowing down of this pace for a good seven to ten years, to have this sort of superfluous space of time in the middle of the day was just a little bit surreal.  I got the boys out, grabbed my sunglasses, keys, and phone and found a perfect shady spot between a small grove of scrub oak and a play set.  Emery didn't need any prompting with his play, but what would I do with this little nugget of time?  I had already done my scripture study, I had already listened to several good talks...what should I read? The Drudge Report? A blog? No, too indulgent.  Should I catch up on emails and Facebook messages?  Should I start to look for Halloween class party ideas?  Should I call my mother?  I absolutely hate seeing time go to waste and have become especially good lately at using my time efficiently.  This was a critical decision! As I followed my little guy around the play yard, and then over to the grove of trees, I tried to think of the best possible choice.  It was then that I spotted her.

On the other side of the copse of scrub oak, a girl who looked to be no more than 19 was lying on her back basking in the soft sunlight.  Based on her attire, she had apparently just finished a jog.  I couldn't see her face, but I imagine she was darling.  At least her running outfit was cute and she appeared to be in perfect shape.  My initial thoughts at seeing her lying there in her reverie, so calm and restful, whilst I, the older woman in the scene, was grasping at this trickle of time that had just serendipitously fallen my way, were..."Well that's nice,"  and...

sort of this:

But after that brief feeling of envy passed, my mind went back to that very time of life for me, too many year ago than I would like to admit to.  I remembered for just a moment what it used to be like to have the luxury of arranging my time however I wished without being responsible for a single human being other than myself.  

I used to lay out in the sun and listen to U2 and the Cranberries and Alanis Morissette. I used to go on extra long runs by myself in the middle of the day, just for a little thinking time.  I used to practice my violin for hours a day, then sit at our grand piano in the twilight hours of summer and play Chopin to relax my mind.  I used to read novels.  


But now...


This is what I do.

This.

And this.

 And this.

When I was nineteen, I had absolutely no clue what was in store for my life.  I thought then that I was happy.  I thought then that I knew what love and joy and fulfillment felt like.

I had no idea.

All these years later I am indeed terrifically busy with caring for all the many people, and things, and life that I am responsible for.  And time for myself has dwindled dramatically.  

But that is exactly why I am happier now than I have ever been in my life and why I would never trade the joyful chaos that is motherhood for all the youth and tight skin and free time in the world.  

I was so glad I caught a glimpse of that girl through the trees.  Because instead of reading something in those ancillary minutes, I loved on my little boy.

In a few minutes, this moment would be over and I would be back to the rush of things. More diapers, more driving, more dinner preparations.  And who knows what my ten and seven year old boys would be up to when I walked in the door!  

But for now, this was my focus.  All my joy was encapsulated in this very ephemeral moment in time. 

And it was perfect. 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven."

{Ecclesiastes 3:1}

Back to School and My Own Growing Up

About this time of year in times past I have often felt as though there must be something horribly wrong with me.  Because while the majority of my friends/sisters/strangers in passing were wiping tears from their eyes as they sent children off to school, I was having a mini celebration inside my brain while I thought of all the things I would be able to get accomplished with them gone for a few hours!  While they would chat in church, at the park, or on blogs about the morose heartbreak of sending their precious ones back to what must have felt to them as the formidable Den of Lions, my emotions tended to be better described in words like joyfulness, excitement, relief, elation!  As I would observe this apparent supreme devotion to offspring, I would think to myself, "What is WRONG with me??  Am I a horrible mother?  I clearly must be as rotten as they come.  I evidently don't love my children as much as these women love theirs.  Heavens, with this much sadness emoting from their bosoms at the very memory of parting with their beloved babies, these women probably love my children more than I do!  I'm not just a bad mother.  I'm an awful, awful human being!"  And then I would go clean something, or exercise, or take a shower without interruption, or maybe even do something crafty for 30 minutes...and enjoy every second of it.  Unconscionable bliss, laced with nagging shame at my brazen selfishness. 

Interestingly, back to school time no longer produces such feelings.  Because over the years I have come to realize something.  All of that?  It's hogwash. Furthermore, these thoughts were not really originating from that deeply rooted home inside my soul from whence my usual mother guilt emerges.  In fact, I didn't really feel guilty at all.  I know how much I love my children and I know there is no other mom who can love them the way I do.  I know I am doing the best I can and that even though my best is no where near perfect, it is enough.  I don't feel bad for looking forward to a few hours of less noise and more time to keep up with the demands of running a household and raising a family.  So what was it that bothered me so much?  What was it about the mothering style of these other women that seemed to make me question my own adequacy?  I eventually realized that these thoughts were surfacing because of what I perceived the other moms to be thinking of me.  I was assuming that these women were noticing my lack of sadness at sending my boys off to school and that they were judging me for it.  I was sure they interpreted my seeming ambivalence to not having my children near me at all times as a sign they would soon see me on the nightly news as the neglectful mom who left her kid in the car to go get a pedicure.  It was an insecurity based on exactly nothing concrete, a mere mirage of skewed perspective.  What silliness to not only assume my friends and co-mothers-in-arms were making such judgments of my mommy inclinations, but to concern myself so much with how I was perceived by them.  

One thing I have loved about "growing up" in my motherhood is how with each year that passes, I care less and less about the things that just don't matter.  Like how adept my parenting skills seem to others, or what Mrs.{blank} will think if I do/say/think this or that.  I have five children.  Five boys.  No one else knows what sort of dynamics are at play in our family life.  No one else knows the struggles and successes that we have on a daily basis.  It isn't about what anyone else thinks or opines when observing us.  What matters is simply us.  I begin and end each day on my knees.  With every new set of 24 hours I cheer, correct, praise, work, play, scold, snuggle, discipline, comfort, and cry.  The only other person who really knows my mother heart is God.  And though He is the only one capable and worthy to judge me, I have never felt the bitterness of reproof from Him.  What I do feel on a daily, even hourly basis is His mercy.  His patience, His guidance, His forgiveness.  That is what really matters. 

And so, these days when back-to-school time prompts the plethoric posts on Facebook and Instagram containing the familiar sentiments of losing children to the awful malaise of another school year (and incidentally of quieter houses and increased productivity... Seriously, where is the gloom in that?), I primarily feel appreciation for the differences in personality and style, even adoration for the diversity of temperaments among my fellow moms.  Isn't it wonderful that we each have unique ways of loving, caring, and nurturing these choice children over whom we have been given stewardship?  Heavenly Father sure knows what He is doing.  And I am so grateful to know this.  Because otherwise I would still be wallowing in the mire of comparison and shame whilst throwing a party on the canal trail with my running shoes and ear buds. 

Oh yeah, and my two babies.  Because real freedom isn't actually for about another five years;). 

Mom's First Day of School Schedule:

6:00 a.m.--- Arise.  This is not a big deal.  Repeat positive affirmations as you make your way to the kitchen.

6:10 a.m.--- Make breakfast for self.  Quick.  You have about 10 minutes to eat food and drink 24 oz. of water.

6:30 a.m.--- Make breakfast for #1.  Include protein. 

7:00 a.m.--- Don't even attempt to follow him around with the camera.  Pray with him and say goodbye.  Beg for just a couple pictures as he leaves.

7:10 a.m.--- Make lunches. Include a love note. 

7:30 a.m.--- Make breakfast for #2 and #3. Include protein...  

...and fat.

7:45-8:15 a.m.--- Help boys get ready. Make sure hair looks normal, check for under the nail yuckiness, make sure they picked socks that don't stink. Follow around with camera and be as lovably irritating as possible.

8:15 a.m.--- Morning Devotional: hymn at the piano, scripture story, family prayer.

8:30 a.m.--- Snap a few more pictures.  Say goodbye... 

Hug tight...

   Look-them-in-the-eye I love you's.  

8:35 a.m.--- Don't forget the babies:)

Summertime Highlights 2014

          Two more weeks.  That is all that is left of our summer break.  The boys are beginning to lose their buoyancy, replacing cheerful adventurism with gradually deflating spirits as the school year looms ever closer.  I don't understand this trepidation.  When I was growing up, this time of year brought a heightened excitement akin to the coming of Christmas.  I LOVED school.  So much.  Yes, I loved learning.  But I also loved the predictability, the structure, the immediate validation when I did well, the bulletin boards, the calendars, the smell of the lunch room, the inspirational quotes on the walls, the pencil dispensers, the scratch and sniff stickers, watching my teacher's mouth move when she'd talk (especially if she got lipstick on her teeth--fascinating)...basically everything about being at school.  Even now, I anticipate with bated glee the arrival of school supplies at Walmart just so I can enjoy the feel and smell of newly sharpened pencils and fresh composition notebooks.  Mmmm. 

       Not so much for the other strange creatures I live with.  The excitement is not shared. 

          With only a few treasured days left before the dreaded {and glorious} return of routine, I thought it might be time to finally post a few picture highlights.

Father's Day

(The fun goes away when mom forces the "group shot".)

LOTS of outdoor play:)

Joseph tried baseball for the first time.  

Not a fan of the standing around, not moving part (or forgetting his glove).

Or the underestimation of these kids' self-esteem!  If after about 10 swings you didn't connect with the ball, you were told to run to the base anyway. Joseph was totally bugged.  So was I.  Because now he hates baseball:(.

Crane Family Reunion in Logan

Sunday evening family time. 

Lagoon excursion.  Seeing faces like this throughout the day made the heat and lines and headaches so completely worth it:).

Quiet days at home.

A day with cousins at BYU.  (Monte L. Bean Museum. I highly recommend it.  Remodeled, updated...a total hit with the kids).

Striking up goofy dialogue with a white wolf.

Family Home Evenings, outside.  
One of my personal favorites of summer time. 

Sad and entertaining fate of the tower build on sand.  Foolish builders:).

Growing adorableness.

Oh, that squooshiness!

A little swimming.

I finally was able to take the boys swimming for the first time this summer (it takes quite a bit of planning and a little serendipity with two babies at home, it turns out) and brought the long lense so that I could take pictures from a distance without embarrassing them.  However, Ashton decided it was still too mortifying so he made Joseph join him in hiding from the camera whenever he spotted it, resulting in my failure to get a good shot.  Unfortunately for him, this failure also forced him to be reeeally, ultra embarrassed while I made them pose for a picture up close...he he!  I don't think he'll be playing that game in the future:). 

Water fun with Grandma and Grandpa.  I really think he'd prefer they just live here.  

Also, this is happening.  

The beautiful apple orchard across from our home is turning into a new 42 home community.  I am sad in some ways, like when I see the poor deer that used to graze here wander through as if to wonder where they will go now.  And to have the quietness disrupted by the sound of construction machines and trucks.  But, it is also a little exciting to soon welcome in so many new neighbors.  I'm ready for that change.  And this little guy sure thinks its awesome.  He will sit here for many minutes at a time just watching and observing, mesmerized by the noises and movement of all the trucks and equipment.  

It's pretty adorable:). 

          Back in May as the school year came to a close, with a brand new baby and a two year old I was slightly worried about the success of the impending three months.  However, our summer was unexpectedly good.  To save my sanity, I did incorporate some structure, though in a looser form than previous years.  But we really didn't plan a whole lot.  It was very low key.  Our lone "vacation" was a family reunion two hours away.  And to my children's astonishment, our summer was still fun!  I did far less managing of their activities and encouraged them to find things to do without my usual scheduling.  We had a general standard of only two hours of screen time a day, which they had to earn by completing their five responsibilities for the day (chores, reading, piano, learning time, and exercise).  Also, they were expected to be outside for the majority of the day.  But that was about the extent of my involvement of their daily activities.  Consequently, they rode their bikes/rip sticks/scooters a lot, played at the school and with friends a lot, played their sports a lot, and messed around in the yard a lot.  And it turned out to be pretty great:).

          I think maybe it's a little impossible for this season to not be.