Monday, June 23, 2014

Mother's Day

I have to say,  boys are pretty special.  They are so weird, and gross… but amazing.  Even their weaknesses are strengths in disguise.  Like when they fight over who gets to sit by me on the bench in Sacrament meeting because they have an uncanny ability to create competition out of any circumstance-- it is this same spirit that will ultimately, when my prayers are finally answered, help them succeed in sports, academics, and eventually providing for their families.  And when one child inappropriately reprimands another for not immediately complying with a request from mom… it’s just those protective instincts kicking in.  Like when Ashton and I were on the running/biking trail the other day.  I was running and he was on his rip stick.  Now, typically when the kids come with me in situations like that I will make sure they are on the inside of me, to the right, so that I can protect them should the need arise.  But there comes a point, first with Talmage and now with Ashton, that they just instinctively reverse that, making sure that I am on the inside in case something happens.  So the other day on the trail, without any kind of prompting from me, I noticed Ashton riding to my left.  As I opened my mouth to ask him to ride to my right out of the way of potential hazards, I noticed him motion to me with his hand to move more to the right just as a biker passed by us.  It was then that I noticed that he was surveying our surroundings, in bodyguard-like fashion, purposefully glancing back at me and in every direction as he rode.  He was now protecting me.  


They are really quite remarkable, these men in my life.


Every Mother's Day, I get to enjoy their sweetness on a higher level than usual.  It's really the best:).


My absolute favorite part of Mother's day is receiving their little love offerings.  




Seth was worried that this year's mother's day was going to be a bust because Talmage was the only one who bought me something.  I had to remind him that moms don't care about that.  Yes, a lemon zester or a new spatula or a pretty necklace...we love all these sorts of things.

But if all they ever gave me for the rest of their lives was a homemade creation and thoughtful card, I would be perfectly, 100% satisfied. 


And it sure helps to have this incredible man as a husband.  He made the day so perfect: taking over all kitchen tasks, preparing me a delicious dinner and dessert, making sure the boys had their gifts ready, and helping me feel so loved and appreciated on a day that he knows can be a difficult one for me.  (Too bad he cut himself off in our Mother's Day selfie!)  


I clearly didn't know this was a silly shot.  

For the typical mom, Mother's Day can so easily be a day a of guilt and regret.  I know I have had my fair share of not-so-happy ones, gazing upon other obviously successful and much more capable, talented mothers at church, feeling ever so below par in comparison, wishing the talks would just end already because I'm not sure I can take another minute of perfection on parade.  But I am noticing that over the years, particularly these last three that I have been married to basically the best man on earth, I'm not beating myself up nearly as much as I used to.  I think one major reason is because I have such a solid sense of support and love from a true helpmate and companion who reminds me often that I am more than adequate.  But I also feel as though part of my growth as a mom is occurring as I realize that I am indeed enough.  I am beginning to accept that I make mistakes, regularly, and that is okay.  Because we have a Savior.  He makes up the difference every day, and it's all going to be okay.  It's quite liberating as a parent to come to that place where you finally acknowledge that it's not your job to be perfect.  And it is actually not up to us to save our families.  That is Christ's role!  That bit of recognition brings tremendous relief. Our responsibility is to teach, to nurture, to protect, to provide, to love, and to do our best in the process.  And everybody is capable of doing their best.  I feel like I am growing more and more in this understanding, and because of this growth Mother's Day is becoming a much happier and more fulfilling day.  The guilt is fading away and joy is taking it's place.


I am literally surrounded by testosterone.  All the time. (And it is sometimes worse, because they have friends who like to occasionally drop by.)  But what girl is going to complain about this picture?  This mother's day was joyful because of these guys. It's a blessed life.


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